WHY YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE AN EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT WITH A GOLDFISH

The recent death of a goldfish in my tank proved to be another example of the level of difficulty we face in developing a bond with aquarium pets. The fish’s death was not exactly a ‘Marley and Me’ moment, despite the fact that I was acquainted with the goldfish for about four or five years.

Fish are always nominally glad to see you in a Pavlovian kind of way, but the bond is largely based upon the fact that we provide their sole supply of food. The exception is the small fish-large fish world in the same tank where large fish will treat the little guys like an all- you- can- eat- buffet while supplies last.

Anyhow, fish in an aquarium are basically a closed society. We can’t live in their world and they can’t live in ours. This literal glass barrier between us and them is only one complication between humans and fish.

We also like to eat fish more than most other pets.

Any pet that doubles as an entrée will face an uphill battle in the sentimental attachment department. McDonalds presumably has no future plans to serve a ‘Filet o’ Fido’ because we have always treated dogs as members of the family in most regions of the world. And most of us would choose not to live in a region where a dog is on a plate instead of the couch.

The upside to a fish death is that it is a gentle introduction to the world of death for little kids. Young children are the most likely people to get attached to a goldfish. A goldfish may be a kid’s first pet and responsibility, so the fish will become the center of a small universe.

This bond between kid and fish usually results in a much shorter lifespan for Gary the Goldfish.

Young children may not get the fish-out-of-water concept very well, thus a friendly hug from a kid may well be the fish’s first and last encounter with love and affection. A slower death may occur when a kid decides to empty an entire can of fish food into a small bowl. Either way, the experience has just introduced mortality into a young kid’s world.

The net result is a parent left to explain the mysteries of death to a kid. How parents handle the situation is up to them, but one thing is certain: Most times the fish really is in a better world after death than in the care of a very young owner during its life.

So the recent death of a goldfish in my care was a regrettable experience, largely because I got used (if not emotionally attached) to the fish. We didn’t have a deep bond, but I will acknowledge his absence with this written tribute to him:

Goodbye nameless finned buddy, even though I hardly knew you on a personal level.