CHICK FLICKS:A PUZZLE THAT NO GUY WILL EVER SOLVE OR UNDERSTAND
Most guys will freely admit that they would probably choose a spinal tap medical procedure over a chick flick. We just don’t get these movies.
The woods are full of the standard "boy meets girl” plotline that usually starts with a disagreeable meeting in which the guy is a complete a$&(#le to the girl. The early days of movies had lively banter between the couple as they drift from irritation to affection and little has changed since then in the plotline.
Except that the language has lurched into R-rated exchanges and there is a possibility of nudity.
The biggest problem with chick flicks is that they have the timeline wrong. Most guys are on their best behavior in the early stages of a relationship. They become a$%@!es after they are comfortable enough to be themselves. Chick flicks have this backwards because guys become great guys by the end of the movies.
This defies the natural order.
I just watched ‘My Best Friend’s Girl’ and it was another example of a guy with no redeeming qualities who gets changed by love. It’s called ‘When Harry Met Sally’ syndrome, and this movie illusion advances the belief that it is possible to completely reform a human being through romance. This is complete fiction.
‘The Wedding Crashers‘ is another prime example of movie fiction. The Vince Vaughn character was beyond redemption as a remorseless sociopath with an obvious contempt for women. Yet somehow this guy managed to see the error of his ways and become a lovable and loyal partner by movie’s end.
Chick flick writers have a bad habit of treating their male romantic leads like horses that can be broken and saddled up for marriage by the end of the movie. That ain’t gonna happen. Like Popeye said; "I am what I yam”, and the juiced-up cartoon sailor was right.
Sure it’s possible to train a real guy to take on more adult behavior, but the movie guys undergo drastic personality changes. They become completely different pod people with only an outer shell to identify them as their former selves. That will happen only in the movies- repeat- only in the movies.
The closest Hollywood has come to reality lately was in ‘The Break Up’; ironically another Vince Vaughn movie. The movie was a “boy meets girl” flick with a twist: They really do break up and they don’t get back together by the closing credits. Instead they meet long after the split and have an awkward moment on the street. That is the stuff of real life. Most guys can relate to this kind of chick flick, but these kind of romance movies are as rare as reasons to vacation in North Korea or Somalia.
So the chick flick industry will remain very profitable. As long as they adhere to an age-old recipe for success- complete fantasy about male behavior modification.
COMMENTS:
DENNIS:"Well put.
You want to see the real "Chick Flicks"? Watch "Cops". You notice how many domestic violence calls they go on? Most of them end with a beat-up woman who won't press charges on the drunken bum that smacked them around. Again and again you'll hear these women say "Well I know deep down inside he really loves me". Right ladies, all these chick flicks and women's magazines and Oprah have convinced you that if you follow these 25 helpful tips that you can turn that fat, sarcastic, lazy, slob, YOU married into your dream man.
When I got married I was straight back from Viet Nam with an "Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow you might be dead" attitude. The woman I married had been my party animal partner, out in the clubs, drunk all night, until the day after she had a ring on her finger. It took me another 3 years to "crash and burn" and finally end up in a VA rehab hospital. I thought I could finally be the man she wanted me to be. Sober, responsible, hard woking and that's exacly what I turned out to be but it was never enough. I spent 16 years listening to "You would be so much better if you'd only do this" or "Think of how much better we could get along if you'd only do that", while living in a pig pen of a house with a woman who spent most of her time reading "romance" magazines full of articles on how to "rehabilitate" me.
I never laid a hand on her while being screamed at or having dishes thrown at me but I finally wised up and got a divorce.
Words of advice girls from the great philosopher Popeye when it comes to men, "I yam what I yam and that's all what I am". Find your dream guy, don't try to make him. It ain't going to work like it does "in the (chick) movies".
The love of my life now made that same mistake once too. Her first marriage was a mentally and physically abusive relationship. We made a deal to accept each other "As-Is" and never complain about it. Are their things about her that annoy the krap out of me?, Yup. Are there things about me that annoy the krap out of her?, Yup but it's part of the package, accept it or reject it, there's no "Only If" in the middle.
In the typical wedding vows it says "For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part. In simple english, that means "As-Is".
