SHOWDOWN AT THE OK CAR CORRAL:CHRISTINE TAKES ON TOYOTA

Stephen King wrote about the most evil car on the planet when he created ‘Christine’, a 1958 Plymouth Fury assembled with the rare mass murderer option.

The car was built for speed and homicide right from the factory and accumulated a serious body count over a long career of unhappy motoring for its unlucky owners.

Christine was mostly blood red in color, a practical if unavailable color choice for the real 1958 Plymouth Fury models, but a suitable shade for evil on four wheels. The movie version of ‘Christine’ became a cult classic in car world, and a real-life horror show for fin-car guys who witnessed the destruction of many 1958 Plymouths that were fatally harmed for the movie.

The skinny on the movie and novel was a car that owned its driver. Christine was an evil b***h of a car, and was capable of killing off friends and foes of its current owner/future late owner.

Nobody was safe from the wrath of Christine.

Read more: SHOWDOWN AT THE OK CAR CORRAL:CHRISTINE TAKES ON TOYOTA

NEW ORLEANS REALLY, REALLY NEEDED A SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONSHIP

Things were always a little tough in New Orleans. They built most of it on a swamp that probably should have been left to inhabitants with feathers or fins. Instead, the area is home to people and they live in an area that should, in reality, be under several feet of water.

That is part of the charm of this area: It really defies logic and people that live there are a breed apart because nature really doesn’t want them in this bird- and- fish- only zone.

Running contrary to ordinary is part of the philosophy if you want to live in New Orleans, because they like to celebrate their individuality- a lot.But lately they have had a little less wind in their sails after Katrina and Rita blew into town and b****-slapped an entire city.

In very severe fashion, I might add.

Read more: NEW ORLEANS REALLY, REALLY NEEDED A SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONSHIP

NEW ORLEANS REALLY, REALLY NEEDED A SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONSHIP

Things were always a little tough in New Orleans. They built most of it on a swamp that probably should have been left to inhabitants with feathers or fins. Instead, the area is home to people and they live in an area that should, in reality, be under several feet of water.

That is part of the charm of this area: It really defies logic and people that live there are a breed apart because nature really doesn’t want them in this bird- and- fish- only zone.

Running contrary to ordinary is part of the philosophy if you want to live in New Orleans, because they like to celebrate their individuality- a lot.But lately they have had a little less wind in their sails after Katrina and Rita blew into town and b****-slapped an entire city.

In very severe fashion, I might add.

Read more: NEW ORLEANS REALLY, REALLY NEEDED A SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONSHIP

VALENTINE'S DAY:AN ANNUAL MINEFIELD FOR GUYS-APPROACH WITH CAUTION

I’ve never really had a handle on Valentine’s Day. For me, Valentine’s Day is a lot like quantum physics, existentialism or The New Adventures of Old Christine. In short, I don’t get any of them.

My earliest recollection of Valentine’s Day was the elementary school ritual of card exchanges within the classroom. It was essentially a popularity contest which provided an instant ranking system. A thin crop of Valentine’s cards was a quick appraisal of your curb appeal, or lack of same, in the merciless glare of the classroom spotlight.

The winners in this scenario were always the most attractive female classmates who also possessed the best social skills. Even then I was not in the habit of giving Valentine’s to my buddies, and I was not alone in this concept.

Read more: VALENTINE'S DAY:AN ANNUAL MINEFIELD FOR GUYS-APPROACH WITH CAUTION