BLOWIN' SMOKE:THE DECLINE AND FALL OF A FORMER HEP CAT

I realize that I am not a hepcat anymore. Probably I never was a hepcat.By the way, a hepcat is an old school term for a cool dude who knows what’s what in the world.

I have only a vague understanding about what constitutes acceptably cool behavior in the 21st century world. I prefer not to text every random thought that enters my head because of a few stone cold realities.

First and foremost, I’m not that interesting. My buddies for the last 40-odd years will confirm this fact.

Read more: BLOWIN' SMOKE:THE DECLINE AND FALL OF A FORMER HEP CAT

12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS:IS IT OKAY TO GIVE PEOPLE AND BIRDS AS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS?

“The Twelve Days of Christmas” is a very old song from a different era of gift choices. It appears to have its roots in the 17th century derived from a hazy mix of French and English ancestry, but it is unclear which country felt that people made great Christmas gifts.The “five golden rings” gift is pretty obvious, but the twelve gifts added up to fifty people given away as Christmas presents by the twelfth day. The rest of the gifts were primarily composed of birds, but even that has limited appeal when you end up with twenty two birds by the time that you’ve opened up the seventh gift.

Just wait until you get to the eight maids a-milking.

If you’re not a real people person your Christmas presents are going to head downhill in a hurry by Day Nine.

Read more: 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS:IS IT OKAY TO GIVE PEOPLE AND BIRDS AS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS?

12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS:IS IT OKAY TO GIVE PEOPLE AND BIRDS AS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS?

“The Twelve Days of Christmas” is a very old song from a different era of gift choices. It appears to have its roots in the 17th century derived from a hazy mix of French and English ancestry, but it is unclear which country felt that people made great Christmas gifts.The “five golden rings” gift is pretty obvious, but the twelve gifts added up to fifty people given away as Christmas presents by the twelfth day. The rest of the gifts were primarily composed of birds, but even that has limited appeal when you end up with twenty two birds by the time that you’ve opened up the seventh gift.

Just wait until you get to the eight maids a-milking.

If you’re not a real people person your Christmas presents are going to head downhill in a hurry by Day Nine.

Read more: 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS:IS IT OKAY TO GIVE PEOPLE AND BIRDS AS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS?

BLOWIN' SMOKE: LIFE AFTER PEOPLE-APES DRIVING JOHN DEERE TRACTORS

I’ve been watching a series on the History Channel called “Life After People”-it’s a pretty good premise. They examine how the earth would survive if people suddenly disappeared and they examine the changes in the natural scheme of things without the blight of massive buildings and guys piloting Hummers.

I really bought into it until monkeys started driving tractors on their chicken farms.

Read more: BLOWIN' SMOKE: LIFE AFTER PEOPLE-APES DRIVING JOHN DEERE TRACTORS