THIS IS A GREAT STORY THAT PRACTICALLY BEGS TO BE TRUE

There is a story that has been circulated about Hall of Fame ego-maniac and garden variety wanker Bono.

A variation of the story had Bono at a U2 concert in Glasgow Scotland where he ordered the crowd to remain totally silent while Bono slowly clapped his hands.

The moment was punctuated with a lecture from Bono that claimed that every time he clapped his hands, another child in Africa died.

The message was obviously Bono's way to wring as much guilt out of the crowd as one entertainer with an uncontrollable God complex could muster.

The story subsequently claimed that an audience member shouted; "Then stop clapping your f####ng hands you evil bastard!" For awhile I was never so proud of my ancestral Scottish heritage. Later a Snopes check proved the story was not true, but I have never wanted a story to be true like this one.

I've said it before; I like most of the U2 musical career. But that is as much as I need out of the band. My relationship with them ends when I listen to their songs or buy their music. After that, Bono can park that arrogant attitude of his in any region that doesn't get a lot of natural light.

That is the main reason that I really wanted this Scottish concert story to be true. It seemed so plausible (given Bono's personality) that I believed it to be true. Now it has gone down the same path as Santa and the Easter Bunny, but all of these myths still give me a warm feeling inside.

So I guess I can live with the fact that Bono is a center piece of a very funny urban myth.

It couldn't happen to a nicer wanker.

COMMENTS

DENNIS:"The only "U-2" I recognize has long slender wings and belongs to the Air Force".