EARTH 10 HUMAN BEINGS 0:THIS FIGHT ISN'T EVEN CLOSE

Think that the planet Earth is our own personal speed bag? Think again. The dinosaurs probably thought the same thing, and they were around for millions of years.

Now they are part of the secret ingredient for unleaded gasoline.

Eventually Earth wins- every time- despite the efforts of tree-huggers anonymous to give humanity the racer’s edge in a scrap.

So here are a few reasons that Earth would bi**h slap us every time.

Hurricanes: When the big winds blow, all we can do is plant CNN reporters at ground zero and take bets about how long they last before these idiots get blown into the next time zone.

Tornadoes: They are the smaller angrier brother of hurricanes. And for some reason, they really hate trailers.

Earthquakes: When you feel the earth move under your feet in a non-Carole King way, it may be time to vacate the building in an Elvis Presley way.

Floods: Most people probably have never heard of flood plains. Until they have a first  hand look at where rivers go when water volume exceeds local geography- usually through their living rooms.

Blizzards: Drop the temperature into a sub-zero zone, add high velocity winds, a crippling layer of snow, and you have yourself a real winter adventure of the life and death variety.

Volcanoes and Firestorms:  The name of the game is heat and the end result is crispy critters. People may start many of the firestorm portions of this event but nature finishes both of them. In a big charcoal way.

Avalanches: There is a popular winter sport in the mountains called "Outrun a giant snowdrift moving at over 100 mph". This is where Earth thins the heli-skier and snowmobiler herd.     .

Mudslides: Here’s an idea. Build a house on the top of a hill and watch it race down to the bottom of a hill during the rainy season.

Tidal waves: Take a giant killing machine of a wave that flattens everything in its path and you have something that even the Beach Boys couldn’t put into a song.

Heat waves: Get into the slow cooker range of 100 (40 Celsius) degree and above heat and one thing is very clear. There are going to a lot of sunburns and a generous body count before things get cooler.

There are many reasons to bet on Earth in a knock-down drag-‘em out showdown with mankind.

Those were ten of the best reasons that we wouldn’t be the last ones standing.