SPERM DONORS WANTED:SPORTS FANS IN MANCHESTER RECRUITED FOR PARENT GAME

It seems that men in the Greater Manchester (England) region are being actively pursued for their fertility. The drive for more pinch-hitters in the fatherhood game has been expanded into the sports world. A publicity campaign has targeted players and fans to donate a legacy to the less fortunate in the sperm department.

Most young guys in any country are more than willing to get involved in the fun part of pre-parenthood anytime and any place. In fact, weekends were specifically designed for guys to pursue acts of generosity that involve voluntary donations.

The Manchester chapter of The National Gamete Donation Trust has a different plan for eager donors.

They want the boys to take up the cause without the sheer joy of actual female company. There is no actual pay for services rendered, and the potential son or daughter will be able to contact their biological father when they reach the age of eighteen. This might be a very tough sell to a healthy young donor who is likely looking for something a little more fun and female in this process.

The collection of donors who do come forward in this group will range from actual sports participants to fans, and the distinction may be negligible for soccer fans. Soccer fans like to get involved at soccer matches, so there are no couch potatoes to hold them back. There may be some great amateur boxers in the ranks of soccer fans who may be able to pass along some alpha male genes discovered during brawls.

The same may not be true for cricket fans, but it is my understanding that cricket is also a drinking event, given the boring nature of the sport. So a cricket fan probably has good social skills in their DNA.

Right now there are 384 sperm donors in the UK. The goal is around 500 donors to share their family tree with other Brits. The campaign is aggressive and the slogans are macho: “Sperm donation- have you got the balls?” How this plays on a young guy’s ego is anybody’s guess, but I would add one extra feature to the campaign: Booze and plenty of it. Guys are much more likely to respond aggressively to a masculinity challenge when they’re drunk and irrational. The National Gamete Donation Trust would be turning them away at the door.

They might even have to hire a bouncer.

COMMENTS

DENNIS:"I was watching a riot the other night and a soccer game broke out."