WARNING LABELS ON PEOPLE: A GOOD IDEA FOR SOME
We have all seen the labels on products that are designed to prevent massively stupid people from doing something massively stupid. Labels like a highly explosive product that should be kept away from an open flame.
That is simply a missing common sense gene. But people are harder to label for warning issues. Things are not as obvious.
Here are some labels that should have been put on people.
Tiger Woods: WARNING: Exposure to women may cause massive bouts of excessive arousal and infidelity. Do not expose Tiger Woods to matrimony.
Results could be dangerous.
Al Gore: WARNING: Exposure to politics may cause delusions of grandeur. Al Gore may become an expert in an unrelated field such as science and environment. Do not expose Al Gore to a gullible public. Results could be profitable to Al Gore.
Will Ferrell: WARNING: Exposure to Will Ferrell may result in sense of humor destruction. Will Ferrell may attempt another 10 year old mind trapped in a 40 year old man movie. Results could produce falling box office appeal for Will Ferrell and complete failure to believe there is a God for movie-goers exposed to Ferrell flicks.
Brangelina: WARNING: Exposure to this couple may result in more biological or adopted kids or tattoos. Results may include bigger houses and more tabloid exposure for a couple that just wants to be left alone-for no more than five minutes.
Lady Gaga: WARNING: Exposure to this entertainer may result in Bozo- the- clown –meets- the- 60s- acid- scene style of dress, plus a new stage name that can only be described a bizarre baby handle. Results may also include déjà vu syndrome (see Madonna).
Oprah: WARNING: Exposure to this talk show host may result in the belief that God is now a middle-aged woman.
Results may include an uncontrollable desire to let somebody on TV make all the major decisions in your life
COMMENTS
DENNIS:"WARNING: Watching "The View" may cause a serious allergic reaction to actual female intelligence".
