THIS IS A GREAT STORY THAT PRACTICALLY BEGS TO BE TRUE

There is a story that has been circulated about Hall of Fame ego-maniac and garden variety wanker Bono.

A variation of the story had Bono at a U2 concert in Glasgow Scotland where he ordered the crowd to remain totally silent while Bono slowly clapped his hands.

The moment was punctuated with a lecture from Bono that claimed that every time he clapped his hands, another child in Africa died.

The message was obviously Bono's way to wring as much guilt out of the crowd as one entertainer with an uncontrollable God complex could muster.

Read more: THIS IS A GREAT STORY THAT PRACTICALLY BEGS TO BE TRUE

G20: THE EXACT MOMENT WHEN ANARCHISTS BECAME A**HOLES FOR THE 'CAUSE'.

I am really sick of watching yet another group of hoody-clad face- covered a**holes torching cities in the name of social causes. It's time to go Mayor Richard Daley (the first) on these lowlifes. Daley had a warm reception for the protestors at the 1968 Chicago Democratic convention. The Chicago police department game plan should have been the prototype for future demonstrations.

The Toronto G20 conference brought these maggots back out to inject chaos into a situation because it is their full-time job. They infiltrate into the do-gooder masses who take to the street with a peaceful pipe-dream Christmas wish list of expensive solutions to global problems.

Here's a newsflash: Canada could have cut a billion dollar check for the cause- except for the fact that it was spent on security.

Read more: G20: THE EXACT MOMENT WHEN ANARCHISTS BECAME A**HOLES FOR THE 'CAUSE'.

SOMETIMES DEATH REALLY IS A REALLY SOLID CAREER MOVE

Years ago, National Lampoon magazine called Elvis Presley's death a good career move. Obviously they were playing the King's death for laughs, given the shock value found in vintage editions of the controversial magazine.

But National Lampoon was right on the money in a business sense. Dead celebrities are a growth industry in the entertainment business.

A good example is Michael Jackson.

Read more: SOMETIMES DEATH REALLY IS A REALLY SOLID CAREER MOVE

A LOST WEEKEND FOR A TIGER AND TWO CAMELS ON A ROAD TRIP

Sometimes it just doesn't pay to be a thief. Especially a thief with a set of values. A road trip for a tiger and his camel buddies was sidetracked last weekend when somebody boosted their ride. Thing were even more complicated because the animals were still in the trailer behind the stolen truck.

So what's a thief to do under these conditions?

Read more: A LOST WEEKEND FOR A TIGER AND TWO CAMELS ON A ROAD TRIP