WHEN DRUNKEN FOOLS WATCH WAY TOO MANY SIMPSONS EPISODES

A crime spree in Calgary Alberta Canada resulted in arson, beheaded statues and a generous dollop of complete stupidity.

Two individuals were arrested after a brief rampage in which the dynamic duo attempted to torch the Italian Club, a car, and any combustible item within range of their war on common sense.

They decided to execute a couple of expensive statues, somehow managed to behead the figurines, and then lost the statues' heads.

It was apparent that these two idiots had already lost their own heads much earlier in the evening.

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OLD CAR HOARDERS-CLEARLY A CRIME AGAINST THE HOBBY...

I met a car guy recently who really needed a cuff in the head-he was the worst version of an old car hoarder. The kind of car hoarder who would rather see his cars rust into a pile of red dust before he'd sell them.

Car guys are...by nature, latent car hoarders.

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THE MOST FAMOUS YANKEE NEVER TO PLAY A GAME: GEORGE STEINBRENNER

There are many among us who are not exactly huge baseball fans. But even non-baseball fans know George Steinbrenner was a famous New York Yankee legend-sometimes for all the wrong reasons.

The fact that he owned the Yankees is an amazing story.

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JULY 2010-1962 PONTIAC BONNEVILLE:THE FAMILY PET THAT STAYED...

Don Durand was working in the Wyoming oil patch back in 1962 when he decided to buy a new car.

This Pontiac was purchased at Collinwood Motors in Greybull Wyoming for $4263.47-not a great deal of money now but it was a significant purchase 48 years ago.

That didn't matter.

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